the name of a gentleman who adopted that custom, his residence being at the Marina, and his drug repository at the Colonnade. The community at that time, as I have shown, was comparatively small, and a good deal of gossip was retailed and detailed at some of the social and convivial meetings of the period. A not infrequent topic was the business relations and disputations between the townspeople and the surgeon-chemist whose name, I will say, had B. P. S. for its initials. Among other tittle tattle it was said that B. P. S. was much fonder of receipts than disbursements, and more solicitous to keep down other people's charges than his own. I will only burden my readers with two illustrations of these particular, though not altogether singular characteristics. On the occasion of an accident which befel a workman, the said accident giving rise to the fear that serious injury had resulted, the man was taken to B. P. S. who pronounced him to be a little shaken and a good deal frightened, but not hurt. The man's employer was, however, both frightened and hurt at the receipt of a bill in which a guinea was charged for the surgeon's mere glance at the uninjured workman. But having afterwards an opportunity of outsetting the account, with some paper-hanging that was ordered to be done, the tradesman went and looked at the work and sent in his account of a guinea to balance the contra. Not always, however, could the clients or even the creditors of B. P. S. cry quits with the doughty doctor in so easy a manner. The St. Leonards Commissioners, to wit, had a claim on him for sundry rates, and as they neither wanted surgeonry nor medicine for their body politic they were put to the trouble of applying to another body for a summons ere the account could be squared. These are the two simple illustrations which fulfil the conditions of my promise, yet it may be allowable to cite one more case, as showing that there was just another peculiarity in the idiosyncrasy of the chemical doctor. The case is one, however, which can be attested by the writer. A certain sum of money was to be paid to St. Leonardensis - who was then a minor, acting under orders - in exchange for a written acknowledgement; but the imperious voice and gesture the latter was demanded to be given up before the stipulated quid pro quo was forthcoming. A refusal to comply with the demand evoked a burst of displeasure, but the embryo St. Leonardensis cares less for such an exhibition of "injured innocence" than for the due execution of his instructions. The transfer, therefore, had to be made in the orthodox fashion, and the homo duplican, as a professional and a tradesman, once more found that he had to meet his antagonist on equal terms.
The next anecdotal subject was a lady; and although she was no stranger to St. Leonards, it only required the prefix of two consonants to her name to make her appear so. Her impecuniosity was either very great or very constant; and, as in the case of the gentleman last referred to, the trouble arising therefrom did not confine itself to the person with whom it originated. Not only in 1837, but also during an antecedent period, the Commissioners and their rate-collector had their minds well exercised with applications for a reduction of assessments, postponement of payments, and total or partial remissions - to say nothing of intermediate threats or execution of legal processes. I have alluded to this circumstance before and it is well to reiterate it, because no inconsiderable portion of the difficulties with which the Commissioners had to contend arose from the inability or the unwillingness of persons to pay their rates. Whether one or both of these conditions would apply in the case now under consideration will, perhaps be best elucidated by the remainder of my story. The heroine of the tale was said to be decidedly clever in the manipulation of ornamental work, whilst as the principal of a young ladies' boarding-school, she was regarded as being intellectually fitted for her profession. Yet she never appeared to have the wherewithal to satisfy the draper, the grocer, the baker, or the laundress; and whenever these importunate creditors essayed a visit to the lady instead of sighting the once familiar order to "Knock and ring," they found the knocker muffled and the bell-cranks rigid. "It's a go!" said one; "It's a do!" shouted another; "We are done brown!" cried a third. But there was one tradesman more plucky than the rest who was determined not to be baffled by appearances nor to be put off with the everyday answer of "Miss So-and-so is not at home." He rode a favourite pony to the door which was opened, after sundry irresistible knocks had been made upon it with the knob of a riding-whip. Pressing forwards into the hall, and followed by his obedient nag, the tradesman threatened to retain the duo-occupancy until the invisible lady made her appearance. He had not long to wait; and as he turned a deaf ear alike to expostulations, entreaties and promises, he soon had the gratification of discovering that the lady's impecuniosity was less gigantic than had been supposed. The experiment, notwithstanding its novelty, was so eminently successful that the author of it was enabled to carry about the greater part of his claim, with a promise that the remainder should be paid next day. I need only add that I was a witness to the due fulfilment of that pledge.
The next anecdote is also one connected with money matters, and although as a novelist would say, the scene was laid at a period some few years less remote, it best suits my convenience to describe it now. Be it known, then, that the original proprietor of a Royal Mansion - as it was then called - being totally oblivious to the fact that his indebtedness to St. Leonardensis was precisely the same as it was before certain monthly, quarterly, and annual applications for an alteration has been made, the troublesome applicant was suddenly inspired on Valentine's Eve to send by post the following "amorous" effusion:-
"Long time you have had, sir,
'Tis really too bad, sir,
Your payment so long to evade;
So pay me off-hand, sir,
The sum I demand, sir,
Ere county-court process be laid".
The loving missive thus inspired by Cupid - though no cupidity could be discovered therein - was so wonderfully effective that on the morrow gold came to my empty treasure-chest, with "thanks for your patience and double thanks for your valentine." "There, now!" I afterwards exclaimed "see what it is to be a poet - a real practical poet!" Suppose I had eschewed poetry, as Mr. W. strongly advised me to do, I never could have written such a splendid valentine, and might have lost my money and missed my reputation! Our worthy J.P. and ex-Mayor will, I am sure, pardon the allusion to his advice - advice which was given many years ago, when the adviser and advised were on the same level, and of course before the change which made the former to don the civic purple and left the latter in the old position of a plebeian St. Leonardensis.
In proceeding with these anecdotal reminiscences, my thoughts revert to an elderly gentleman whose name is included in my list of 1837 as being a resident at East Ascent. he was neither a Pope nor priest; neither parson nor preacher; yet he was a real Minister - "a fellow of infinite jest" who could amuse his friends with some mirth-provoking stories, but which I dare not repeat, because, like the original text of Shakespeare's plays, they were insufficiently refined for the present age. I will merely say then of my old jesting friend that although he was a Minister he followed the occupation of a tailor, whilst he also followed suit in receiving summonses for the non-payment of rates and in having the said rates ultimately remitted on the score of alleged poverty.
But the simple fact of Mr. Minister being a tailor and living at East Ascent is a sufficient reminder of another old friend who lived in the same neighbourhood at the time, and followed a similar occupation. He was one of the emigrants from the Priory at Hastings, and he bore the honoured name of Russell. He was a "snip" who could occasionally snip enough "cabbage" for a vest from the leg-hollowings of a pair of trousers - a feat which all clever tailors used to boast of - and he could also snip the hirsute superfluity from a man's poll. The latter ability was indicated by a pole, with certain significant spiral bands, which was daily projected from a pilaster in Mews road. Among Mr. Russell's near neighbours was a family, the male head of which used to go to daily labour, whilst his wife went out as an occasional cook. One a certain day a party were bent on having a "lark", and, hearing that instructions had been given to the children to keep the pot boiling during the absence of the father and mother, so the beef-pudding might be cooked at the proper time, one of the party contrived to get unto (sic) the house unobserved, when he took the pudding from the pot, "piping hot." The said pudding was conveyed to a smith's shop just by, and there devoured by the perpetrators of this practical joke. It was, however, but half their work, it being deemed necessary to provide something in return for the family's dinner. They therefore tied up a goose in the pudding cloth, and deposited the same in the pot. But it wasn't an eatable goose; it was even tougher and harder than the goose which some English officers purchased at a fabulous price during the Crimean campaign, and which one of the declared must have been the last of the pair which came out of Noah's Ark. The St. Leonards goose was really and truly an iron goose which the "lively larks" had taken from the shop-board of the tailor Russell; and such was its persistent gravitation that Mr. - could not avoid the exclamation "What the deuce makes your pudding so heavy?" as he endeavoured to take it out of the pot just as his wife arrived at home to see about the dinner. Of course he was chided for his awkwardness, and was also dispossessed of the cook's prerogative which he had temporarily usurped. But the queen of the household finding that her two-prong sceptre could no more rule the roast than could that of her usurper, immediately came to the conclusion that the children had suffered the pot to get "the boil." She tugged with much exertion and with some loss of equanimity, but finding all her efforts unsuccessful, she arrived at the conclusion that the pudding was irretrievably sticking to the pot. Judge of the surprise which followed when she found that the rotundity of her culinary preparation had disappeared, and that an elongated mass, "heavy as lead," had taken its place. Judge, too, of her flow of anger, as she afterwards threw the goose down an unsavory abyss which shall be nameless. The sequel is that one party feasted right merrily on a stolen meal; that a second party was thrown into a paroxysm of rage by the audacity of the tricksters; and that a third party, who had had his "goose cooked," was obliged to pay a couple of shilling[1]s for the restoration of his property.
The principal events in the early part of 1837, already related, were the influenza epidemic, the death of Mr. James Burton and his wife, the rival harbour schemes, and the defeated attempt to foist an Act of Parliament on the eastern part of St. Mary Magdalen against the will of the inhabitants. The death of Mr Putand and his fifty years connection with the town have also been dwelt upon, and a nearly perfect list of property owners and occupiers in 1837 has been given. But as a considerable number of persons in the said list had then recently migrated from the Priory ground with - to use a simile - their houses on their backs; and as such houses are (or were before later improvements) conspicuous less for their architectural finish than as being among the earliest buildings eastward of the Archway, it may not be amiss to point out which those habitations are. In what is now London road, were erected two houses by Messrs. John Tyhurst and Edward Picknell, and numbered, respectively, 19 and 27. Mr. Tyhurst also brought the materials of a smaller house for reconstruction in East Street. Then in Norman road, the houses occupied by Mrs. Starnes and her son, after Richard Starnes's death, and now tenanted by Mr. Wilson and Mr. Gilham - originally numbered 1 and 2, but now known as 33 and 35 - were brought from White-rock street by Mr. Milstead, and re-erected where they now stand. The two adjoining houses, 37 and 39, were transplanted from the Rope-walk by Mr. Naylor. Higher up the Road is 57, which, with its projecting windows, is one of the smartest of the "America" importations. It was removed to its present position from what was called "The Mount" in White-rock street, near the side of the present "Bodega" in Robertson street. The owner of that transplanted house, -
- ↑ An explanation of old currency and coinage may be found at the following website Pre-decimal currency, accessdate: 16 June 2022
